they say , " maintain your composure...! " , everytime i am into some serious logical reasoning ... how far do i stretch to bulwark my sanity ?
this is like certain consuetudinary to behave sophisticated when you are said to have "GROWN UP"...this itself is a tentative term...like what i had been writing in the post earlier !
why am i always expected to forgive ? why am i not supposed to put forth my perspectives n conceptions when im being called "GROWN UP " ?
why am i stupid enough to think that " SAYING SORRY " , even if i 'm "RIGHT" is innocuous ? as far as i've debunked my own SANITY...i feel im a person who does not like EGO to spoil things even for a while....i firmly believe n treasure every relationship i share with people around me.....but being taken for granted as an "EMOTIONAL" coleen i sometimes feel it is so good to be INSANE......i fight with my SANITY when i do not speak out things i should n want to..............when i want to be angry ( like mom asks me to drink child water ) ........ i dont want to have regrets over things that matter a lot to my statuesque !
i think sometimes it is sheer better to speak out things , without looking back at what would happen next...cuz if you dont ... the other person with splash out such shit that would question your sane "SANITY"..........is being upfront on the levels of bulwarking your amour-propre INSANITY ?
this is like certain consuetudinary to behave sophisticated when you are said to have "GROWN UP"...this itself is a tentative term...like what i had been writing in the post earlier !
why am i always expected to forgive ? why am i not supposed to put forth my perspectives n conceptions when im being called "GROWN UP " ?
why am i stupid enough to think that " SAYING SORRY " , even if i 'm "RIGHT" is innocuous ? as far as i've debunked my own SANITY...i feel im a person who does not like EGO to spoil things even for a while....i firmly believe n treasure every relationship i share with people around me.....but being taken for granted as an "EMOTIONAL" coleen i sometimes feel it is so good to be INSANE......i fight with my SANITY when i do not speak out things i should n want to..............when i want to be angry ( like mom asks me to drink child water ) ........ i dont want to have regrets over things that matter a lot to my statuesque !
i think sometimes it is sheer better to speak out things , without looking back at what would happen next...cuz if you dont ... the other person with splash out such shit that would question your sane "SANITY"..........is being upfront on the levels of bulwarking your amour-propre INSANITY ?
my point isn't about being upfront n gruff to people you dont like...but yes i certainly think living by the rules of "ITS OVER",....is SANE ! sometimes i feel it is very important to get back to knee jerks n regurgitate your feelings n anger ! one needs to be very very strong to say "YES , IM HURT ! ".........for the past 20 years what i have been reading , hearing , watching n learning every instant....i can confer that ," As difficult as it seems, you can be sure of this: At the core of the heart, you have the power to move beyond the old issues that are still hindering your freedom. The hardest things—the ones that push you up against your limits—are the very things you need to address to make a quantum leap into a fresh inner and outer life. "
like i've known myself over the years i always hunt an issue n solve it ,yself...n therefore i can manage to say that in the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about !
The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience. Metaphorically, it's the curtain standing between the room you're living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer. !though many times my head spanks me that "FORGIVING"..isnt the best option....but i cannot deny the person i am..the SANITY i owe to my being .... n so to protect me from being a make-believe i have accepted the easy way out....!
Revenge is a kind of wild justice; which the more man's nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out ! i know what destruction i face if i try to bulwark my ego against my sanity....VENGEANCE has never done me good....Something of revenge I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavor, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned of INSANITY. !!!
